We can’t get there from here

Hash Trash
T2H3 Run #402

"The usual spills and thrills of a Hash run in Tianjin China!"
Hares: Shy Dog, Gilles, Nose Job, Zhao Ke
Yes, you heard that right! Four Hares! Count'um!

In TTH3 tradition, the troops gathered at the Wei Ha in TEDA for Run #402. Shy Dog informed us as we got on the bus,

"It's only a short, 10-minute ride from here to the Hash starting point."

The bus (which also apparently doubles as an art gallery from portraits of famous Communist leaders) pulled out and beers were passed out in true Hash style.
The ten-minute drive soon became 20 minutes. Hmmmmm.

The bus driver doubles back and takes some kind of illogical serpentine route.

"I swear we went past that restaurant at least three times," could be heard from the back of the bus.

Seems that the route chosen by our revered Hares could not be navigated due to a low overhead clearance problem. About 45 minutes later we arrived and piled out of the bus for a much-needed piss break before the circle is brought to order.

In a major breech of etiquette, Shy Dog calls the circle to order, rudely by-passing our esteemed GM..

After Spermbank takes control and promises Shy Dog several down-downs at the closing circle, our Hares are introduced and the trail markings explained.

Yours truly (Saved-by-the- Bone) is ordered to generate the Hash Trash by our tyrannical GM.

Keep in mind that SBTB makes up for his bad memory by being an accomplished liar.
After Hash Flasher Nose Job was almost tricked into backing off a small bridge into a rancid pond by our venerated GM, the group photo was made and we were on our way.

We soon learned that Hash #402 may well be remembered as "Revenge of the Mud People."

And I ain't referring to Artemis Fowl! The first Hash markings led us thru a tunnel with ankle deep mud. Maradona would have been proud.

Our Moroccan-French visitor, Mohammed, hitched a ride on the back of a truck thus avoiding the water hazard. Little did he know this was the first of many mud holes we were forced to traverse by the Hares (hereafter referred to as "The Gang of Four").

The walkers were soon led down the first false trail by Make Me Harder.

"Are you on?" was heard in the distance.

Have you ever wondered where all those folks peddling the cargo tricycles (san lun) go with their huge stashes of recyclables? We soon found out. We visited the wood recycle yard, then plastic/Styrofoam, glass and various metals. Seems a lot of garbage was also present as malodorous scents soon filled our nostrils.

Make Me Harder soon led us down another false trail.

"Why are we following this wanker?"
"On-on! Ohhhh yeah!"
Frequent cries of "Are you?" echoed from Sweeper Shy Dog.

After experienced (?) Hashers MMH and Shmoosky led the walkers astray 2 more times by making her own false trails, we emerged into heavy traffic and the BS in what appeared to be a concrete recycling yard. You just can't find this type of breath taking scenery in most parts of China!

Nose Job did a great job of organizing the Beer Stop as refreshments were plenty.

The Gang of Four soon aimed us toward more recycling dumps and more roads and trails inundated with mud. I sure hope the money they paid that fleet of water trucks to deluge the dirt roads did not come out of our treasury. I demand an audit!

After crossing a busy highway we spotted the bus in a structural steel storage yard. Us Civil Engineers felt right at home.
Note to self: Is there really such thing as a "civil" engineer?

After some negotiation with the inhabitants the circle was called to order by our valued GM.
"To the Hares!"
The Gang of Four managed to avoid the toilet seat, thus enabling our sweetheart, Sour Kraut, to keep the necklace for at least one more hash.

Dumpster serving as Spiritual Advisor, complete with notes, got the accusations started.

One of these days we will get an SA with Half a Mind so he/she doesn't have to keep notes. (SA = RA (Religious Advisor)

The `new shoe' sipping ceremony was performed on one unlucky newbie for the second time!

Let's keep that in mind when it's time for his "naming."
The tiddy bib and Igor were soon brought out for the naming ceremony for two of The Gang of Four.
Gilles will be hereafter referred to as "Pepe Le Pew" at Hash functions. Blame Shy Dog for that handle Gilles!

The good news for Gilles aka PLP is the Anglophones will be able to pronounce this name properly.

It seems that Zhou Ke has a propensity for posting photos of herself in lingerie on the Net, so she was pinned: "Nobody's Secret."
We were soon off to a ptomaine emporium on 3rd Avenue for some spicy food, BBQ and Tsingtao.

Patio seating on the 2nd level near McDonald's. Nose Job wrote down the name of this joint for me, but I promptly lost it.
Off to the Wei Ha where we were serenaded to French folk songs by our totally inebriated French Hashers.

Fabricated by: "Saved-by-the- Bone"