Travels in the Philippines - Part 5 - The Trojan Horse

 All credit goes to Scott Ruffenr for this Classic handcrafted piece of writing

Nick the young MD from California just checked into the hotel across the driveway from my apartment. We had met just a week ago, so I hailed him from across the way and invited him in for a drink.

He drives a big van that he says he needs to haul “the gang” around with, presumably the family of his wife, as he had told me he was married to a Filipina.

We share the same mechanic for our vehicles, and in my first conversation with him had garnered the fact that he was married , and was planning on building a house or estate down on the very remote island of Negros. I guess every place one has not visited in a third world country seems “remote” and therefore only worth visiting; and not taken seriously as a place to reside for a westerner.

He disagreed in my assessment of the area being remote, and extolled the virtues of his chosen place, assuring me there were plenty of retired foreigners living there to associate with, and the fact that it is a University town with a modern and educated populace. I dared not ask if the usual fast food joints were there too. He just seemed enthusiastic, happy, and looking forward to getting started on his new venture.

That’s all changed now.

He has a real sheepish look on his face as he arrives at my door. His countenance secretes a need for confession. The youthful confidence borne of a strong intellect and extensive education is no longer in evidence on his freckled and youthful face. This guy is pure California beach boy deflated.

“So what’s up buddy?” I ask.

“I’m moving in here and getting rid of my wife.” is his mournful reply.

“Oh boy, what happened?” is my cautious response.

Staring at his soiled sneakers as if they were the real enemy, he replies:

“I caught her screwing a Filipino guy.”

All the old timers here have heard this kind of story before when a guy marries a girl from one of the bars. Usually it involves the girl using “shabu” otherwise known as crystal methamphetamine, and scoring from the tricycle driver down the street. These guys feed off the girls and usually get them to give them lots of money beyond the cash for the drugs.” If they don’t have cash; then how about a little “boom boom”? E-Bay never sees this kind of barter.

The girls hide their habits quite well, and I have known guys that never suspected their girls of using the stuff. This is despite the fact that her cheeks are hollow; eyes glazed and recessed into deep sockets, and many weighing only 85lbs., can drink a case of beer without passing out. A lot of the guys just don’t want to know, because they are drunk day in and day out too.

However this case is a lot different.

Nick, being a fully qualified MD would have spotted drug use early, but he never saw this one coming. Apparently he lived with his girl for about a year until finally getting married to her. He then rented a 3 bedroom house in a good secure compound. They had lived there no more than a couple of weeks when his wife asked if her mother and sister could move in too. Nick is a self-described generous man, so he naturally welcomed the family members to make his wife happy. Within a couple of months a total of 8 family members were living with them including a brother and a couple of cousins.

“If I got up at night to take a piss, I had to step over bodies!” he exclaimed.

The solution to the problem of overcrowded living space was solved by moving to a less desirable part of town so he could rent 3 apartments to house “the gang”. Family members coming and going everyday; noise, chatter, and very little privacy was the outcome of this move. Nick however soldiered on; passing out pesos for every little thing the family could squeeze from him.

Little did he know the conspiracy that went on around him.

His “family” is from the Visayan island of Samar where they speak a dialect called Waray. Fat chance a guy from Southern California ever learned any of that language. So it is easy for anyone of his brood to talk about anything they wanted to, right in front of him, without his understanding any of it.

Remember the wife’s brother that moved in? Well, he wasn’t her brother, he was her boyfriend.

The whole family was in on the subterfuge, smiling with obeisance everyday, addressing him as “Kuya” (respected elder brother); all the while living off his munificence. One might say:

“How could he have not known?” Love is blind is the stock answer I suppose.

Nick finally suspected infidelity, and set a trap by setting up his computer web cam to motion sensor mode, thus catching the two “en flagrante delicto” in his bed. To further bolster his case against her, he has sent a pair of her panties to a lab in California for DNA testing to determine any stray droppings or hair that are not her own. Results are expected in a couple of weeks. Meanwhile, the family remains ensconced in the apartment complex, replete with his brand new furniture, computer systems, and a new Toyota sedan. Doubtless they will stay there jabbering and chattering about what to do, until the rent runs out and they are evicted by the landlord. All of the furniture, computers, automobile and anything else of value will be sold off for next to nothing; and they will fade back to their muddy little barrio back in Samar.

What of the girl and her future?

She will not easily give up her “ATM”. Weeks, even months of phone calls and text messages to Nick will ensue. Perhaps she will track him down and create hysterical scenes; even beating her head against a concrete wall, all the while sobbing and screaming her everlasting love and devotion. Threats of suicide will follow, with several of her friends asking Nick’s forgiveness by proxy. Never mind all this time she will still be with her paramour, doling out what ever pesos she still has for his gambling and drinking habits. Eventually, she will matriculate back to the girlie bars looking for another victim, all the while blaming Nick for breaking her heart.

Poor Nick. What about him?

Nick tells me he has a new idea for a business, lab testing for DNA and paternity, right here in Angeles City. Science and technology will be triumphant over tribal conspiracies.

Meanwhile, I have seen him with a new girl walking hand in hand in the hotel garden resplendent with orchids: lavender, amethyst, burgundy, golden, lovely colors all.

Some will never learn in the game of love.